X-COM - The Crews adventure
by Dedavond
Summary: My first foray into writing. Made for Rage and the rest of the crew.


X-COM PROJECT FANFIC

Chapter 1 - Headquarters

***The crew walk out a Skyranger and are shocked to find themselves in a huge underground cavern***

Rage: Where the hell are we?

Hollow: Shut up dufus, We were lucky enough to be picked up by this fucking amazing heli-jet-copter thingy and I wont have you being the reason they kick us out of here.

Evanz: Fluke, lets just leave. We're finally at some place that looks relatively safe and they're already at it again

***Rage sticks his tongue out and wags it in front of Hollows face***

Fluke: Right you are Evanz, right you are.

***As Evanz and Fluke are about to walk away, a man approaches***

Bradford: Hello, my name is central officer Bradford and welcome to the Headquarters of The X-COM project. I'm going to need you survivors to please make your way to sector 8. Just follow the signs and you should get there.

Fluke: The X-COM project... Is that like Project X or Project Runway?

***Bradford gives Fluke a skew look and notices Rage still waging his tongue at Hollow and Hollow blatantly ignoring him***

Bradford: Maybe I should just make sure you guys get there all right...

Hollow: We'll be fine, really. He loses interest after a while.

Bradford: If you're sure... Ah there's another survivor who can show you around.

Evanz: Gubiak! Is that you!

Gubiak: Damn it! I mean Whoa, didn't expect to see you guys again.

***Rage instantly stops poking his tongue out at Hollow***

Rage: (foreign accent) Gubi! Good to see you my friend. I must agree, I did not expect to see you.

Hollow: Ye Gubi, No offence but I expected you to be one of the first to die.

Gubiak: Well a lot of shit happened out there. It got pretty intense...

Fluke: Sounds like you have been through a lot Gubiak. I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to.

Gubiak: Thanks but I'm just not ready to talk about it yet.

Bradford: Ookaayy. Well it seems you guy-

***A loud siren begins wailing drowning out all other noise Hearing this Bradford begins running towards a large corridor***

Hollow: I think its time we find out what this X-COM project is.

***With a determined look in his eye, Hollow begins to sprint after Bradford. The rest of the group glance at each other and begin running after Hollow***

Evanz: Holy Cow, Is that the world?

Rage: Pffft, don't act like you've never seen a huge holographic image of the world before Evanz.

Bradford: Report!

Officer: Sir, We've just lost contact with Delta team. High certainty of KIA

Bradford: What! That was our last trained group of operatives. Colonel Saunders was in that squad... Our most distinguished soldier...

Hollow: Operatives, Soldier? What exactly is it you guys do here?

Commander: We are this planets last line of defence against this alien incursion.

Fluke: Who are you, and why were you hiding in the shadows?

Commander: My name is Commander Shepard and I was not hiding. Simply watching.

Evanz: You guys don't seem to be doing a good job against these aliens.

Shepard: We only have so many soldiers and it seems we just lost the last of them.

Hollow: Well if you need men then I would like to help.

Rage: I was going to say that! It was my idea! I just didn't say it in time...

Bradford: You!? Weren't you just wagging your tongue in your friends face?

Shepard: Well we are extremely short on men at the moment and they do seem willing to help. What experience do you guys have in the field?

Rage: I'VE KILLED AN ALIEN! Oh yes I have and none of you can deny it.

Evanz: Rage, hitting an alien with your car doesn't ness-

Rage: I SAID YOU CANT DENY IT EVANZ!

Fluke: Back to the question, yes. We do have experience in the field.

Hollow: Give me a working weapon that effective against these bastards and I'll get you some results.

Shepard: So be it. Bradford, kit these men out in some equipment. Find them another volunteer as well to give them the full squad size of 6.

Bradford: Yes sir. Follow me men.

***Bradford leads the guys down to the barracks***

Bradford: This will be your new home now. Get comfortable. All the equipment you will need is through that door(Indicates door on the right). I'm going to get you new squad mate.

Evanz: Well this is better than living out in the streets. Hey they even have food over there!

Hollow: Please tell me they have a kettle as well!

***Hollow takes a metal safety deposit box out from under his jacket. Removes the key from the lining of his right sock and opens the box, revealing a single tea bag***

Hollow: I've kept this beauty safe all this way, waiting for the right moment to enjoy her. She could be the last ever tea bag anywhere in the world...

Fluke: You do know they have a box of tea bags right here next to the milk.

Hollow: Really!(A grin spreading across his face)

Fluke: Oh wait, it's green tea.

Evanz: Don't cry Hollow, I'm sure there is more tea out there in the world.

Rage: GAY! Anyhow I hope we don't get some irritating American in our squad.

Hollow: (Wipes away tear) I bet you we don't.

Rage: I bet you we do.

Evanz: Oh god. Gubiak why are you being so qui-

Fluke: Gubiak stayed behind to talk to that commander guy about something.

Evanz: Stop cutting me off dammit! You guys always cut me of-

Tyde: Hey guys!

Evanz: AAAHHH!

***Evanz slams his head down on the counter in front of him in frustration, knocking himself out***

Rage: SEE HOLLOW! I WIN!

Hollow: Tyde, hows it going man? As you can see, Rage is exactly the same as normal and Evanz is having some weird moment

Tyde: Good man, but I saw Gubiak on my way here and he was crying in a corner. I didn't want to disturb him.

Fluke: Really? Maybe we should just give him some space to centre himself.

Rage: Ye, wouldn't want the other people here to think we're all that weak

Hollow: OMG Rage, You're a fucking soulless monster. Jeez I can't believe he still surprises me sometimes but he does. How did you get here Tyde?

Tyde: Same way you guys probably did, big helicopter came, picked me up and here I am. They put me on some reserve soldier list that if they really needed people to help then they would enlist me.

Fluke: Well we're glad you're here Tyde. Oh I think Evanz is stirring.

***With much effort Evanz pushes himself up onto his knees and blankly looks at the assembled group around him***

Evanz: Imagine if I could only make sheep noises now but that would be a stupid and very uncreative joke.

***As the group laughs, Bradford enters the room***

Bradford: You guys had better suit up. Commander Shepard says he has a mission for you guys. Find your other squad member as well, this is for all of you.

Rage: Fiiinnnee, Lets go get Gubiak if we REALLY have to.

Hollow: Remember to bring Gubiaks equipment as well.

Rage: But its HEAAAVVVYYY.

Evanz: God you're a child rage.

***The group, fully suited up, leaves the barracks in pursuit of Gubiak with Tyde carrying Gubiaks equipment after Rage's complaining just got too much for him***

Fluke: There he is. I see him

Hollow: Hey Gubiak, The commander says he has a mission for us.

Gubiak: (Ignores them)

Evanz: Come on Gubiak

Gubiak: (Ignores them)

Rage: Gubiak stop being a little bitch. Its not that scary.

Gubiak: Scary? Scary? YOU THINK I AM SCARED? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHY I AM CRYING? ITS BECAUSE THEY STOPPED MY LITTLE PONY WHEN THE ALIENS STARTED AND COMMANDER SHEPARD SAYS THEY DONT HAVE ANY HERE TO SATE MY DESIRE!

Rage: Dude, that's deep... but we've got a mission now so buck up sonny boy.

Hollow: OMG rage.


End file.
